Confessions Of A Haphazard Cook

It's the ultimate irony.  Most of us like to eat; indeed, we must eat to sustain life.  Eating involves cooking and other forms of food preparation.  Many, many people find this process to be anything from relaxing to exhilarating.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those kitchen-happy folks..  I find cooking ranges from boring to exhausting.  If  I can open a box and start eating with no preparation, I'm good.  Cereal?  Eaten dry like chips.  Hot breakfast?  Toast or Pop Tarts.  Yeah, I know--about as unhealthy as it gets.  I have an incurable sweet-tooth; what can I say? 

I should be a "fatty-fatty two-by-four..."  but I'm not.  Well, I could stand to drop a few pounds, but not bad.  How do I keep relatively slim?  My budget, that's how!  I don't have extra money to indulge my unhealthy sweet tooth.  If it's not in the house, I can't eat it.

I love Danish pastry, puff pastries, and all of that.  Sure, I could make my own, but I get tired just reading the recipes; sounds too much like hard work!  I get enough hard work trying to make a living, and dealing with day-to-day misfortunes, such as broken-down washing machines.  (But that's another article!)

I prefer to 'graze.'  Lunch may consist of a dozen Ritz crackers with cut-to-fit slices of cheese.  Or maybe stick pretzels dipped in peanut butter.  There's always a sandwich, but I like peanut butter, and made into a sandwich, I'm inclined to add extra calories I don't need.  The bread must be buttered.  Why?  Lubrication for the peanut butter!  It just doesn't slide down very well on dry bread.

The next irony is my beautiful gourmet-cook-friendly kitchen.  I love my kitchen.  We remodeled a few years back.  Now, you may ask, why does a person who dislikes cooking as much as I need a gourmet kitchen?  Well, quite simply, because it is an efficient kitchen, and gets me in and out quickly without fighting the arrangement or struggling with a too-small sink.

Cooking things that involve layering this, chopping that, sauteeing 3 ingredients, setting aside, flouring something else... bah!  A person could starve before such a meal were ready to serve.

I have a screaming-good recipe for vegetarian enchiladas.  When I make it, I get rave reviews, and there are never any left.  I only make them about once a year.  It's one of those recipes..chopping sauteeing, pre-prepping, and by the time the dish is ready to serve, every pot and pan in the house is dirty, the stove and island are a mess of splatters, and the sink is full of all the stuff that didn't fit in the first load in the dishwasher.

I have a modified pair of horse blinders I wear while eating the enchiladas, so I can enjoy them without glimpsing the mess awaiting clean-up.  For the most part, however, if the urge for enchiladas strikes, I hit the frozen food aisle.  So much faster, and someone else got to do the KP.